Updated: January 27, 2023
Romantic comedies would have you believe that women want an attractive man who is physically fit, dresses nicely, has a good job, makes a lot of money, buys her gifts, and drives an expensive car. But life is not a romantic comedy. In reality, while those things are nice to have, they’re not the most important qualities women look for in a man—by a longshot. Read on to find out what women really want.
1. Open communication
Open communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It starts with giving your partner a safe space to talk about their emotions. That isn’t always easy for some men, but it is what women want. “Let your partner know that you are there for them,” Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., writes on Psychology Today. “Once your partner knows they will not be judged for being emotional, and that their words will not be used against them, they will be more open to sharing their deeper feelings.”
2. Good chemistry
We know we said looks don’t matter, and we stand by that. But good looks are different from good chemistry, and women want the latter. Attraction can start with looks, but looks will only get you so far. A strong attraction is based on more concrete things like shared values, interests, perspectives, and goals. It’s exciting to wake up every day and feel a strong attraction to your partner, and women want to feel that connection long after the initial spark.
3. Emotional maturity
Emotional maturity is not a guarantee that comes with age; it’s something that individuals and couples work hard to achieve and maintain. Some men (and women) are emotionally immature (and might not realize it), and it’s a huge turnoff for women. “Emotional immaturity can reflect a lack of depth and understanding about one’s own emotions, inability to communicate and process things related to the relationship, as well as lack of empathy and ability to understand your partner’s emotional experiences,”.
4. Open honesty
Women don’t want to be lied to or have their time wasted. They want to be with someone where the trust is so strong, they hardly think about it, because they’re confident their partner will never break it. If their partner does break their trust, they want to hear the truth, even if it hurts.
5. A shared future vision
When women talk about the future, it’s less about reaching milestones and more about being on the same page as their partner. Not all women want to settle down, get married, and have kids. Some have visions of buying a home, rising through the ranks in their career, or traveling the world.
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