Updated: February 2, 2023
When someone is needy, it shows a lack of confidence and self-worth. This can come from growing up feeling unloved, or having a parent who was emotionally unavailable. You desire a kind, loving partner, but subconsciously you don’t believe you’re deserving of a man’s love and respect, because you’ve never had it. We’ve put together a few pointers to help you figure out whether you should call him, or if you could do with taking a step back.
1. You’re not being authentic
It’s easy to spot this in other areas of your relationship too. Do you find yourself always agreeing with him because you’re eager to please him? Maybe you always let him crash at your house after a night out with his friends? Perhaps you’re afraid to say no to sex because you worry he might not want to see you anymore.
2. You’re calling for instant happiness
If you’re calling him for instant gratification, then you might want to reconsider before calling him. The reason being here is that you’re allowing your happiness to hinge too much on him. What if he says something you’re not expecting? What if he doesn’t have time to talk? What if he doesn’t pick up?
3. You always give more than you get
If you’re giving in the hope that he’ll appreciate you more and fall in love with you, but you never end up getting what you wished for, it’s because he doesn’t appreciate you. Relationships should be a healthy balance of giving and receiving.
4. You contact him again when he doesn’t reply
A good rule to follow is to never text or call someone you’re dating twice. Nobody is too busy to send a quick text to someone they’re into. There’s no reason to call again. It’s a common scenario: weeks have gone by without hearing from a guy, you’ve convinced yourself that they must’ve lost their phone or had an accident, so you end up sending just one more text. Not being able to handle the radio silence is needy. Instead, embrace the silence with confidence.
5. (Not) Calling makes you anxious
Basically, when you don’t hear from him right away, you immediately think you’ve done something wrong, or you doubt his commitment to you. Trust is the foundation of any stable relationship. Recognize that you’re an amazing woman, and any man would be lucky to be with you. When you embody this, it becomes easier to trust because you value your own self-worth.
6. You don’t give him (or yourself) space
Constantly calling and and asking him to spend more time with you will likely be received by him as suffocating. This will lead to him pulling away so he can feel in control of his personal space. It’s important that both individuals in any relationship have their own space to be themselves and maintain independence. And as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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