Updated: December 4, 2021
Online Dating is one of the best ways to meet new people. There are tens of millions of people on dating sites and dating apps with the same relationship hopes as you. Unfortunately, most people are failing at online dating for reasons that are easily fixable. Here are five major mistakes that the average male online dater is making right now and how to fix it.
1. Your Online Dating Profile Is NOT a Used Car Ad
One of the most common problems that I see with men’s online dating profiles is that they are far too sales oriented. A lot of men list off their qualifications like they are features on a used car: “I’m a good listener, kind, spontaneous, with fresh tires and ice cold air…” This kind of approach is a huge turn off for women.
2. You’ve Got Bad Online Dating Photos
Before you get defensive, know that I’ve only had 3-4 clients in the last fourteen years of helping people with online dating that didn’t need to fix some of their photos. What makes a photo bad? Here’s a short list of some of the worst problems: bad lighting, no smile, obviously cropped out women, posing with cars or other material items, sunglasses, and selfies.
3. You’re a “machine gun” man
I’ve had countless men call and write to me, complaining about how they have sent 10, 20, or even 50 emails out a week to women with little to no response. If you are doing this, stop right now! Despite what many people like to tell you, online dating is not a numbers game. Spraying out emails like machine gun fire looks means that you aren’t focusing enough on the women you are contacting.
4. You are trying to date ghosts
Dating sites want you to email as many people as possible. This helps them make money as people you contact have to subscribe to read your messages. The vast majority of people who aren’t subscribed don’t use the site very often. In fact, if someone isn’t logging in at least a couple times a week, I consider them to be a ghost. Maybe they are dating someone new and seeing how it goes before they pull down their profile. Maybe they’ve quit online dating.
5. You are only focused on what YOU want
Look, I’m not saying that you should email someone that you don’t find attractive, or that doesn’t interest you. I’m just saying that what you want isn’t the only thing that matters. One of the biggest complaints I get from my female clients is that they are getting a ton of emails from guys who are clearly not what they are looking for. One of the traps of online dating is how easy it is to contact someone.
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