How to Talk to Men Online 2021

Updated: October 24, 2021

A girl can drive herself crazy continually checking her dating profile and waiting for a notification. It’s like the new waiting by the phone, and it can make you start to doubt every word in every message you send. If you’re wondering how to talk to men online, here are a few handy tips.

1. Pick the right dating app or site.

First of all, you have to make sure you’re in the right place to find romance. Some niche sites have relatively few dating prospects in your area, so the silence may not be your fault—it might be because the dating profiles you’re messaging are inactive. That’s a bummer, but it’s easily remedied. Just sign up for a dating platform with a large and active membership base.

2. Be authentic, upbeat, and interesting.

Everyone has a story to tell. Your life history, your opinions, your personality all make you you, and that’s something worth sharing with a date. You don’t have to write an autobiography on your profile or in your messages, but definitely reference the best bits. If you’ve been out of the country on a trip or for study abroad, mention that in passing.

3. Keep it light.

This is a good tip for guys and gals longing for long-term love. Don’t bring up commitment too early in the conversation. Even if you hear wedding bells ringing in your head, play it cool or he’ll have warning alarms ringing in his. It reeks of desperation to talk about meeting parents, going on trips together, or otherwise riding off into the sunset when you’ve just met someone online.

4. Ask questions that get him talking.

This tip is pretty straightforward, but it’s worth noting. If you want to get a guy to talk to you, give him something to say. Ask questions about his life, hobbies, aspirations, and opinions. If you can pull something specific from his dating profile—“I see you like Marvel comics, what did you think of the latest movie?”—all the better!

5. Stay positive.

Look, we all feel frustrated, impatient, cynical, and down every once in a while, but unfortunately that black mood isn’t going to make dates line up at your door. People want to be around people who make them feel good. A little sarcasm and dark humor is fine. A consistently negative attitude is not. Instead of complaining about the dating scene, the weather, your job, your family, or other parts of life, focus on the positive things.

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