Updated: March 1, 2021
Being a flirt, online or in real life takes a certain level of finesse. Some people are naturally charismatic, effortless flirts. Other people become successful flirts by learning the tricks of the trade through trial and error. Others flirt minimally or not at all. Online flirting is an art form. That’s right. I’m going to tell you how to be betting at online flirting.
1. Do not be tempted by the easy compliment or a cliché
It’s too easy, too cheap, to fall prey to the easy compliment and the ready cliché. It’s like giving someone a ready-to-wear message when you can easily whip up some homemade haute couture. Think about it. For this awesome individual whom you’ve set your eye on, getting another message that simply says You’re a hottie or hey what’s up is probably about as exciting as breathing. Online daters are so used to it, they barely notice it anymore.
2. Metaphors and similes, when used in moderation, are your friends
We are given this thing called language. We should have fun with it! Language serves the purpose of communication, though in the process, we can take all sorts of liberties with it to save it from the abuses of everyday speech. For instance, we can use metaphors and similes. Though it might not be readily apparent at first, the use of metaphor is rife in the arena of the flirted word.
3. t’s not the size that matters, but how you use it
Write a sonnet, not a novel. Keep your responses short and sweet—at first. Later on, beautifully articulated, 17-page epics are encouraged. At first, however, you always want to make the person you’re trying to attract lust for more. Give an inch, and they’ll demand a mile. I’m not a proponent of two-word responses, but a short, two-paragraph message where each word is measured (and no words are wasted) is the online equivalent of a brief conversation that ends too soon and leaves you starving for more.
4. Everyone loves a funny person
You don’t have to be the class clown of online dating, but a little humor never hurt anyone, particularly when used pointedly to attract a mate. Even if it goes against everything you believe, at least try to lighten up and make a joke (think of it as a thought experiment). Humor is like a jolt of charm. Who doesn’t love to laugh? While there is no easy lesson on how to be funny, the best rule of thumb is to try to make it sound natural and situational. Make jokes if it’s relevant and applies, but don’t make stupid jokes for no reason.
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