Dating at 40: the 7 Things You Shouldn’t Put Up With Anymore 2023

Updated: February 3, 2023

If you really want to meet someone, it’s time to leave the past drama behind and really focus on meeting your match. You can only do that by not allowing yourself to date like you once did. Here are the big things you shouldn’t put up with anymore in your 40s.

1. Wasted time

You have way too much going on in your life to be jerked around by someone who is just playing games. When you know on date number one that you aren’t clicking, it’s OK not see them again. You’re likely too busy to waste another date when you know you weren’t feeling them. Don’t worry about being mean, it’s fine to kindly tell someone you aren’t interested.

2. Emotional roller coasters

The games, the heartache, the anxiety…aren’t you tired of that? There are too many other things in life—work, family, expenses—to get stressed out over. Your dating life shouldn’t be one of them. Enough of the drama. The man or woman you choose to date should complement your life, not be a burden.

3. Having nothing to talk about

You have a lot more life experiences, opinions and thoughts to share in your 40s than you did in your 20s. When you’re young, discussions can be more superficial. They can often be dull if you can’t find common ground or are hesitant to open up. Come your 40s, you can talk more about life experiences. You have accumulated more knowledge and have plenty of things to share.

4. Settling for what you really don’t want

Staying with someone because you don’t want to be alone or thinking they’ll change may have been OK in our 20s or 30s. That said, it could be one of the reasons you’re single today. Settling rarely leads to happiness later on. You didn’t settle in other aspects of your life, so why would you settle when it comes to choosing a life partner?

5. Dealing with flakiness

If they cancel on you last minute, take forever to get back to you, show up late, or forget things, they’re not the type of person you should be dating in your 40s. Maybe in the past we would’ve made up excuses for them, but we’re all adults now. If the person you’re dating can’t keep their life organized enough to respond or show up on time, it could be a sign that other aspects of their life are in disarray.

6. Being unsure

In our 20s and 30s, we’re still figuring out what we want. Because we feel we have so much time, we let relationships drag on and hope to get a clearer idea of whether we want to be with someone. When you hit your 40s, you don’t have time to hold on to relationships with people you aren’t sure of. It’s OK to go on a date with someone and know right away they’re not for you.

7. Playing games

Waiting to text back to make them want you more? Those games are no longer fun nor helpful once you hit your 40s. Now that you’re older and hopefully know better, you can quit the game playing and replace it with good ole communication. Keep the dialogue flowing because the more you communicate and get to know about each other and what you both want, the more you’ll know if you want to date this person or not.


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