Updated: May 8, 2021
According to a Pew Research survey, a majority of singles think dating sites and apps are a good way to meet someone, so if you’re single, you need to be actively using a dating site or app (or even two or three). If you’re confused about how to handle it when you’ve been ghosted on a dating site or app, here’s your cheat sheet to help you through the digital pain. Learn this because, if you’re dating, it will happen to you.
1. Don’t Take It Personally
Remember, there are millions of singles using dating apps, and most are chatting with multiple people at a time. This abundance of choice may seem exciting at first. But, after a while, some conversations go cold.
2. Reach Out Once
If you must know why someone stopped communicating with you — maybe his dog chewed up his cellphone — you’ve got one shot at reaching out. Then it’s your time to disappear. One thing I know for sure is that a lot of ghosters will try to leave the door open for other opportunities with you in the future.
3. Avoid Double Texting
What this means is you’ve got one shot at reaching out. If you send a second text saying “What’s up? or “Hey, thinking of you,” it will probably backfire, and you may appear to be needy. Instead, send that one text only, and then delete the ghoster’s digits so you won’t be staring at your phone like a zombie.
4. Don’t Beg for an Explanation
Sometimes you do get an explanation without asking. One day, I received a message from a guy who I’d been chatting with briefly on Bumble. I didn’t even realize I’d been ghosted, but, after two weeks of no contact, he sent a nice message that said:
5. Unmatch With Ghosters
Because most dating apps are location-based, some identify how far away the ghoster is from you or in the city where he or she last logged in. It can become crazy-making, but logging in to take a peek at their profile after being ghosted is a huge mistake.
6. Move On
Everyone needs to chat with multiple people. If you’ve been doing that, increase the chat frequency with the other few who were lingering on your phone so you won’t focus on the ghoster.
7. Don’t Play Hard to Get
Playing hard to get doesn’t work in today’s digital landscape, where the next exciting person is just a swipe away. I say seize the moment, and, if neither of you has plans that evening, schedule a casual meet-and-greet because, if you don’t, someone else will.
8. Don’t Ghost Someone
Be like the person in my fourth tip who lets people he’s chatted with know the reason they’re no longer in touch. If more people would behave that way, we could start a tremendous anti-ghosting campaign.
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