Updated: June 13, 2021
You want to catch their eye and stand out, but you don’t want it to seem like you’re trying too hard. Well, fear not, because we can help. Here are some online dating message tips to help you write something that has a high chance of getting a response.
1. Start with “hi,” but give it a spin.
When you meet somebody in real life, chances are you do two things: say hello and tell them your name. So why not employ the same greeting tactic online? Saying hi and introducing yourself is polite, easy, and effective—and you’d be surprised by how few people actually do it in their online dating messages. But instead of just saying “hi,” “hey,” or “hello” like everybody else does, make things interesting.
2. Comment on their profile.
Commenting on someone’s online dating profile shows that you actually read it and that you’re a good listener. When you meet a new person online, it can be tempting to compliment their looks. And while physical compliments are nice, they can sometimes be, well, empty. Most people would rather receive a compliment about something they wrote in their profile. Bonus points if you add a little information about yourself. It keeps the conversation going and gives them something to respond to.
3. Ask a question.
One of the best ways to start a conversation is by asking a question. Again, it gives them something to respond to. Even better if this can also relate to something they wrote in their profile.
4. Cut to the chase.
Be honest and say what you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to be overly forward or aggressive; it means that if you’re interested in somebody, it’s ok to be clear about it. After all, isn’t that what you signed up for when you joined an online dating site?
5. Suggest meeting for a date.
Is it bold? Yes. Is it risky? Maybe. Is it effective? You bet. One of the biggest complaints about online dating is that people spend too much time messaging and not enough time actually dating. It’s gutsy to ask someone out right away, but it sends the message that you’re serious about your level of interest. Be bold! And have a plan. Are you free? doesn’t give someone much to respond to. But Are you free for coffee on Thursday? does.
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